3 Tips to have a Godly Marriage
Being in a relationship is not always easy. Many couples are faced with countless issues pulling them in different directions. But what we all need to do is seek wisdom in God to help us get through life and enjoy it to the fullest. God is the one who can and will keep our marriage last a life time. Here are some simply steps to have a God centered marriage.
First, be in prayer for yourself. Many couples in my office don’t pray or haven’t prayed in a long time. They feel they are not right with God so they don’t try. I have found myself feeling the same way. The Bible tells us, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Roman 3:23, NIV). Knowing this truth makes it easier for me to reach out to God and ask Him to take control and lead me in all things including my relationship with my spouse. God is always waiting to listen to us. “Then those who feared the Lord spoke with each other, and the Lord listened to what they said. In his presence, a scroll of remembrance was written to record the names of those who feared him and always thought about the honor of his name” (Malachi 3:16, NLT).
Second, be in prayer for your spouse which will come natural since you are already praying for yourself. Pray every chance you get for your spouse and don’t quit “Never stop praying” (1 Thessalonians 5:17, NLT). The key to a long marriage is not quitting. I recently met a couple that has been married for 63 years. I asked them the key to a long, happy marriage and their response was to never give up. Some people think that quitting is easier than staying married. However, separation can cause an emptiness that takes years to overcome. Divorce not only affects the couple but also affects everyone around, especially children. The emotions resulting from a divorce can be life-long.(For a Christian perspective on divorce, see our companion article, “Is it OK for Christians to Divorce?”)
Thirdly, pray together and be in the Word “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20, KJV). There is an old saying “a family that prays together, stays together”. I believe that to be true when a family’s prayers are heart-filled prayer. You need to be in agreement in prayer with your spouse. Praying together also allows you to know the desires of your spouse’s heart.
We know that it takes more than just three steps to keep a marriage for a lifetime, but these three steps will help build a strong foundation for a Godly Marriage. To help you start your great adventure of a Godly Marriage. Here are some Bible verses that you may read to one another.(For a Christian perspective on marriage, see our companion article, “Building a Strong Marriage”)
Genesis 1:27-28 (NIV) So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground. ”
Romans 14:13 (AMP) Then let us no more criticize and blame and pass judgment on one another, but rather decide and endeavor never to put a stumbling block or an obstacle or a hindrance in the way of a brother.
Romans 14:19 (AMP) So let us then definitely aim for and eagerly pursue what makes for harmony and for mutual up building (edification and development) of one another.
Romans 15:5 (NKJ) Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus, (NLT) May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other – each with the attitude of Christ Jesus toward the other.
Romans 15:7 (NIV) Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
1 Corinthians 12:25 (NIV) . . . there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.
Galatians 5:13 (AMP) For you, brethren, were [indeed] called to freedom; only [do not let your] freedom be an incentive to your flesh and an opportunity or excuse [for selfishness], but through love you should serve one another.
Galatians 5:15 (AMP) But if you bite and devour one another [in partisan strife], be careful that you [and your whole fellowship] are not consumed by one another.
Galatians 5:26 (The Message) That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original. (CEV) But don’t be conceited or make others jealous by claiming to be better than they are.
Ephesians 4:2 (NLT) Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.
Ephesians 4:25 (NKJV) Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another.
Ephesians 4:26 (HCSB) Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger,
Colossians 3:9 (NASB) Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices.
Ephesians 4:32 (NASB) Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Ephesians 5:21 (NIV) Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (The Message) Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
Ephesians 5:23-24 (NIV) For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Philippians 2:3 (NIV) Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. (AMP) Do nothing from factional motives [through contentiousness, strife, selfishness, or for unworthy ends] or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself [thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves].
Colossians 3:13 (NLT) You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others (AMP) Be gentle and or bearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive].
1 Thessalonians 3:12a (NASB) may the Lord cause you to increase and abound in love for one another
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV) Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:15 (AMP) See that none of you repays another with evil for evil, but always aim to show kindness and seek to do good to one another and to everybody.
Hebrews 3:13 (NIV) But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
Hebrews 10:24 (NLT) Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds.
James 4:11 (NLT) Don’t speak evil against each other, my dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize each other and condemn each other, then you are criticizing and condemning God’s law. But you are not a judge who can decide whether the law is right or wrong. Your job is to obey it.
James 5:9 (Message) Friends, don’t complain about each other. A far greater complaint could be lodged against you, you know. The Judge is standing just around the corner.
James 5:16 (AMP) Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].
1 Peter 1:22 (NIV) Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.
1 Peter 4:8 (NIV) Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Revelation 19:7-9 (NIV) Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear.”(Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God’s holy people.) Then the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” And he added, “These are the true words of God.”
If you have questions about building a Godly Marriage please visit us at: www.hinesfamilycounseling.org
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