Talking About Finances in a Marriage

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Talking About Finances in a Marriage

Many of us have heard that money and/or finances is one of the biggest reasons married couples fight. Understanding what the problem is and trying to make it work in your marriage can make all the difference.  The problem with finances has to do with either the amount of money made, how the money is spent, combination of both or who does or doesn’t stick to a budget.  It is important to make sure all major investments are discussed.  When you won’t do this, there will be problems with finances. 

There are many reasons why people don’t talk about finances.  It may be they have never seen a good example of it growing up.  It may be they made a purchase they don’t want to have to try explain, take back, etc.  It is also important to be open about credit or loans you have, whether it is a card, with a friend or family, etc.  Proverbs 6:1-5 says, “My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor, if you have shaken hands in pledge for a stranger, 2 you have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth.  3 So do this, my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbor’s hands: Go—to the point of exhaustion— and give your neighbor no rest! 4 Allow no sleep to your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids. 5 Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler.”  (NIV) When you have debt to take care of, you need to do it.

Romans 13:8 says, “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.”  (NIV) It is important to work as a couple to take care of the family finances. This means working on a budget and everyone living within it.  Maybe it means you cut out extra spending that is unnecessary.

When it comes to finances it may also be a side job needs to be picked up to help deal with some of the issues you are dealing with.  Or maybe have a garage/yard sale to get rid of things.  But it is important to make sure both you and your spouse are on the same page.  It may be necessary for a little bit to talk about each and every financial purchase, deposit, etc.  This may seem extreme to do over a coke, candy bar, etc, but until you get everything under control, it may be the best option for awhile.

Your finances can cause some of the biggest fights, but can also be something of a great relief when you both are on the same page.  This will be something you need to talk about on a regular basis.  What will need to happen may change based on what is going on, but will be worth it in the long run.

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One thought on “Talking About Finances in a Marriage

  1. Timely post! The cause of a lot tension surrounding money is a lack of communication between partners. Regularly scheduled meetings or “money huddles” can go a long way towards helping couples get and stay on the same page regarding their finances. Often couples will benefit from working with a professional who can facilitate the discussion and help them explore the personal money scripts, values and attitudes that drive their behavior surrounding money. Once couples are on the same page and understand each other’s money personality, tension eases and a partnership develops that allows the couple to become successful financially.

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