How Work Affects the Marriage


Regardless who brings home the paycheck or who makes more, work can and will affect the marriage.  Hopefully you will make it work positively for the marriage.  The problem comes in when the expectations of work aren’t said up front and as things change, it is when each of you come in thinking a certain way, whatever it is.  Work affects the marriage when one person is a workaholic or is completely lazy.  When there is not a proper balance between work and family, you will find there will be problems in the marriage.  Unless you are willing to admit there is a problem, work will always be a problem in the marriage.

It is important to talk from the beginning of the relationship about work.  This includes understand what the job entails of both people and the person bringing home the paycheck.  If one works in the medical profession or in the ministry, as examples, it is important to understand what is involved for the person who is in those particular positions.  Understanding when they get time off, their office hours, emergencies, late nights, etc are important, or there will be problems.  The hours worked for some jobs may vary based on the time of year, the job or many other factors, so talking about them ahead of time is important.

If someone is unable to work outside of the home, it is important to make sure everyone understand why along with what the person is able to do around the house.  This can really hurt a marriage if it is not discussed either when a situation happens causing a person to not be able to work from home.  Or if one person is going to be home to care for children and what they will be doing is important.

Proverbs 14:23 says, “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.”  (NIV)  Proverbs 15:9 says, “One who is slack in his work, is brother to one who destroys.” (NIV) After reading these verses it is important to do your best and what you can do and you will be taken care of.  When you don’t do your part, you will run into trouble financially.  Whether you work from home, have done your best to work at whatever job you have and don’t pass on the right opportunities to work, you will find you will be able to meet your financial needs.

It is important to make sure you talk about the type of work, when work will happen along with how it will affect the entire family will be important.  If you can’t be up front about the work you do, where it is and make what you earn work for you, there will be problems with the marriage.  If their is a problem that you can’t shake it’s OK to seek professional Christian help.

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