Loving YOU means taking responsibility for who you are.

We don’t have a choice who will be our parents. We don’t have a choice of which family or clan we belong to. We don’t have the choice if our parents give birth to us in poverty or in wealth.

But the moment we come to know the difference between what is good and bad; we have the responsibility to make choices about how we will live our lives.  This responsibility is ours until we face death, more so when we are adults.

As Denis Waitley says, “A sign of wisdom and maturity is when you come to terms with the realization that your decisions cause your rewards and consequences. You are responsible for your life, and your ultimate success depends on the choices you make.”

     Accepting the complete responsibility for everything about who you are and who you will become is a very important decision, crucial to achieving your goal of success.

     Acceptance begins with taking responsibility. Therefore, when you accept full responsibility, you are refusing the habit of blaming others for every unfavorable situation and circumstance in your life.

    Accepting responsibility empowers you to make decisions for your life. There is a humorous statement that says, “How can you face your problem if your problem is your face?”

      Sometimes we may laugh at that statement. It seems there’s no more solution if your problem is your face. Yet, we can even learn from this silly comment.

      If I am a person who completely accepts my responsibility, I will look for a mirror to have a better view of the problem (meaning, I will be looking at my face). Then I will decide on the best solution to the problem. 

     Having a sense of responsibility is the very foundation of personal development. Without responsibility, none of the principles we have discussed in this book will make any sense. If you accept responsibility for yourself, you can’t blame anybody or anything for your situation, for the circumstances of your life now, or for the life you will attain. There is only one person responsible for your life—it’s YOU!

 

Understanding the Qualities of Love Part 2 (from Unleashed You)

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Living in kindness makes love enjoyable. In our desire to make the person or people we love happy, we do things they like or will enjoy. I once saw a bookmark imprinted with a statement that said, “Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.” Love is all about looking for opportunity to show kindness to others. Every small act of kindness can make a great impact in the lives of many people.

Loving is commitment. Love demands commitment. Changes in people’s lives, circumstances, situations, feelings, opinions, and emotions can bring challenges to their commitment to love.

We should understand that commitment is the act of binding oneself to a course of action in fulfillment of the demands inherent in expressing our love. It is easy to give up when you don’t have commitment. You can’t stay long without it.

Our challenge will always be our ability to sustain our commitment. We should always choose to bring it to a higher level as our love grows.

Learning to trust is also an important quality of love. I believe that having trust means to have confidence, faith, or hope in someone you love. It is also confidence in the integrity and honesty of the person you love.

Trust is a necessary ingredient of a healthy relationship. The absence of such confidence can create misunderstanding. To have trust in other people includes opening yourself to them and believing that they will not take advantage of you.

Having trust means that you are willing to expose your vulnerabilities without any reservations. A healthy relationship is built when both parties display this level of trust to each other. When you start showing trust for others, you will certainly reap trust from them — except for those who are in the business of taking advantage of others. In a marital relationship, trust is vital to its stability.

When you want to express your love to the less fortunate, you may choose to channel it through a charitable institution because you trust them to faithfully deliver your gift to the recipient.

When you trust others, their natural response is to be true to you. Yes, it is true that some people are superficial, but don’t worry—they will reap the same if they don’t realize your sincerity in trusting them.

As Ernest Hemingway said, “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”

Leaning on humility preserves the genuineness of your love. It has been said that love is not boastful. If you carry humility in your heart, you will always think of others’ welfare and be willing to give up your own rights for their benefit. Humility means not seeking credit for yourself, but being grateful for the opportunity to express your love and make other people happy.

“Humility is the quality of being modest, reverential, even obsequiously submissive, and never being arrogant, contemptuous, rude or self-aggrandizing.”

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How to Write a Love Letter?

 

 

We’ve all heard delightful stories of a lady keeping and treasuring a bundle of love letters – for a lifetime.  Long after the fellow who wrote them is moldering in his grave, she still treasures them, and rereads them often.  Honestly, though, such experiences are the exception, rather than the rule.  Why doesn’t every couple have a trove of such treasured communications?  Could it be because most of us just don’t care that deeply – or is it that we don’t really know how to write a love letter?

Tulsa Christian Counselor

The truth is that in some cases, the casual intimacy which has developed in our society may actually prevent the growth of true intimacy – that of the mind and the spirit – but that’s a topic for another day.  For the purposes of this discussion, we will assume that our readers really do care deeply about their loved ones – yet need a bit of advice about how to best “put it on paper”.

For starters – let’s consider how to start!  It should go without saying that you won’t begin the letter with a greeting like “Dear Sir or Madam”.  Do you have a pet name for your beloved, one that you whisper at special times when “it’s just the two of you”?  If you do, that is where you should begin.  Even that formal, traditional first word of most letters – “Dear” may be dispensed with, if it feels natural to do so.  For example, if you call her “sweetheart”, consider beginning your letter with something like “Hi, Sweetheart!”

Tulsa Christian Counselor

Write to her (or him) in terms which allow your loved one to imagine that you are whispering in her/his ear.  Assuming that you are separated by distance, be sure to mention that you miss her/him and are eager to see her/him soon (if that statement fits your situation).  Say the “sweet nothings” that you would say if the two of you were alone in an intimate setting.  Be discrete, though – technically, if the recipient is your spouse, then “intimate things” are not “wrong” – but do you really want to risk your kids reading them?  Besides, some things just don’t belong on paper!

If you are going to convey news or business information in the letter, keep that part brief, and don’t be in a hurry to jump into it.  First, spend several sentences in expressing your love and appreciation for your beloved.  Of course, you should be careful to use language that actually sounds like yourself.  It won’t enhance the impact of your love letter if your beloved is wondering who wrote it for you!

Is there something about your loved one that is “bugging” you – some character flaw that you really wish she/he would overcome, or maybe something that you’ve been arguing about?  DON’T MENTION IT!  Remember, you are writing a love letter.  Gouging at a “sore spot” will guarantee that any love expressed in your letter will be overshadowed and forgotten.  Keep it positive, or the letter IS NOT a love letter!

Think of the personal traits of your beloved which are most admirable, those which should most be encouraged, and those which attracted you to her/him in the first place, and focus most of your comments on those things.  Come to think of it, the Apostle Paul’s advice, given in the Holy Bible, Philippians 4:8 (ASV) says something to that effect.  Granted, the apostle wasn’t talking about how to write a love letter, but the advice certainly fits!

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

When you run out of sweet things to say – or out of time, or of paper, whichever comes first – be sure that your closing is at least as sweet as the greeting.  Express your love in closing, and sign the letter with the pet name that your loved one uses for you.  If you have no such “pet name”, then sign it by whatever she/he calls you in private conversation.

Would you like to finish it off with a special touch?  Seal the letter, then right over the seam where the flap joins the body of the envelope, hand draw a little heart, flower and add the letters “SWAK”.  (Means “sealed with a kiss”) If you’re really feeling sweet, actually kiss the spot!

One final thought: the real reason that love letters are saved and re-read is the consistent, loving behavior of the sender.  Fancy words and fancy graphics are a poor substitute for genuine love and understanding.  True love letters are much deeper than the paper they are written on!